Now that my website is up and (mostly) mobile ready, I have the room to step back and think about what making a website has taught me, and what it means to me.
I designed this website in Figma, with intentions to have it as a HTML only website (now it’s HTML, CSS and a sprinkle of Javascript). I’ve always been a huge proponent of the webpage, and have vague memories of making my own blog on BlogSpot when I was 8. Since then, I’ve probably made a handful of other websites on all the usual builders – Wix, Wordpress, Weebly (why all Ws??).
All of the websites were websites for my niche interests – I remember dedicating one to Visual Kei, and another to my teenage diaspora angst – topics for which couldn’t find any outlet in the real, offline world. It always made me immensely happy for someone to read or comment on my blog posts. It was acknowledgement that what I had to say was important and valuable, which is a huge confidence booster for a teen figuring things out.
I’ve been on a major nostalgia trip flicking through the aforementioned teenage blog recently, and there are a lot of self-reflections there that make me amazed at how much I’ve grown, and still how much I’ve stayed the same. I gave up that blog because during my undergraduate degree, I spent so much of my week writing essays that writing stopped being fun, and instead became a chore, done to a deadline, instead of an act of joy. But now, 6 years later and soon to graduate from my masters, I feel it’s time to rekindle that joy in a new way, without the pressure to prove myself, but just to explore myself – like 8 year old Sanaa did.
Why build this website myself?
The next question is why I chose to make this blog in html and css, when all the blogs I’ve ran in the past have been with a builder or host? I wonder if you feel this way, dear reader, but until recently, the internet just felt like magic to me. It’s a mythical world that connects us, floating in the cloud as if it were a step below heaven. It’s something I’ve taken for granted, with occasional pause for wonderment.
(Pause here to think about the profundity of the Internet)
BUT THAT ISN'T TRUE!
The internet is a physical thing, with millions of data centres worldwide making sure our clicks connect, taking up real land and using real energy. This has a real impact on our landscape, our wildlife and the amount of CO2 we produce – and these builders and hosting provider play a huge role in this. For the sake of ease, and commercial use, websites have been simplified so that you can drag and drop different elements, upload your images and hey presto! You got your own home page! This does the job for most people who want a web presence, but what if we thought more consciously about the internet? What if we were more purposeful, acknowledging that every line of code has an impact on not only on our world, but that of plants and animals too?
We are so disconnected from the source in so many aspects of our modern lives – from where our meat comes from to how our clothes are made. All for the sake of ease of use.. But by taking these things away from the context of this world, we forget that everything is interconnected, and that everything has material impact.
I recall a project, a web page where you could input your website and check if it was hosted on indigenous lands. I don’t remember the name, but when I saw it, it made something click in my head. Without thinking about it, my clicks and taps contribute to the ongoing occupation of land by settlers, My clicks and taps deny people, animals and plants their means of existence and preservation, just so I can what? Watch a 6 second video that makes me exhale out of my nose (not even laugh). Is it a fair exchange?
But it’s not like I can choose to leave the Internet behind – it’s a human right, and it’s how I access my money, see my friends, learn from others. But it’s also where I’m assaulted by ads, where my location and cookies are tracked and in all honesty, has become an addiction normalised.
Now, with web design best practice and cookie cutter layouts creating a virtual Airspace , it feels like a woefully outdated concept. But I still sought that humanity in the internet. Which is why, when it came to building my own, I needed it to be full of me. My personal photos, how I imagine my digital world and my words as they come – not worrying about page views, SEO, marketability or anything like that. When I presented this website to my tutors, I explicitly said it is not a portfolio website, but a place for people to know me.
Going through this process, learning how the Internet functions and how code I wrote on my computer gets transmitted to every country on earth has given me a new sense of ownership of the Internet. This website is a home-cooked meal, a labour of love and a representation of who I think I am, and where I came from. What if we all built websites this way – what would that Internet look like?
I imagine it would be one of joy and learning, of understanding, sharing and collaboration that will only strengthen our bonds to each other and this planet.
To finish off this ramble, I’d like to share a project that really GETS IT:
This is the “Indigenized Internet”, a project by Jake Advincula, now an online course you can access on a Pay-what-you-want model. It takes the notion of builders one step further and asks – what if we were stewards of the Internet? Taking the course is the next thing on my to-do list – I want to see that Internet, that lives up to its name and acknowledges the interconnectedness of everything. An internet that we can all take part in. Making my website was just the first step – and it can be yours too! I encourage anyone reading this to make their own website – it doesn’t matter if it’s “bad”, or if you don’t host it or even if you don’t show it to anyone ever.
I’m sorry if you expected a technical tutorial of how I made this website (email me if you have any specific questions – sanaa@sanaas.world). The how is one question, but what comes first is the WHY. So why?
I want to rely less on those predetermined layouts and mediums and really explore how the Internet can really empower me and my creativity. At the same time, I want to acknowledge the physicality of the Internet, and it’s interconnectedness to land rights, colonialism, climate change, capitalism and more!
Here are a few web pages that really inspired me in this process:
You can also check out garden , where I have an Are.na channel dedicated to the Internet – there’s the technical resources I used to build this website and also websites that inspire me and hopefully will inspire you as well!